Editor’s note: Some *names have been changed to protect the sources’ anonymity.
Sometimes living with a roommate is a treat. They let you borrow clothes and keep you company. The worst thing they do is leave gray, gooey face mask remnants all over the bathroom sink.
But sometimes a roommate is a trick. You think everything’s fine, and then one day you walk in to find blood on the ceiling or a stuffed animal murder scene.
Not finding out someone's true character until after you’re stuck in a lease or dorm room together is truly terrifying. So this Halloween, we asked UM students to share their scariest roommate horror stories.
Maybe you’ll find catharsis, or maybe you’ll find you’re the terrible roommate.
Raven, a senior, wasn’t okay with her freshman-year roommate doing cocaine in their Aber Hall room. If that wasn’t enough, the roommate used Raven to cover up the illegal doings.
“Apparently, my roommate told the other girls on the floor that I was selling Adderall and other drugs,” she said. “The whole floor thought I was dealing.” Tricky.
Cops and Zombies
Police aren’t exactly the type of guest you want your roommate to be bringing over, and should only be in your house if it’s Halloween or a bachelor/bachelorette party. So when students Chase, Morgan, and Josh lived in a Missoula house with a fourth, felon roommate, they weren’t happy.
The roommate was drunk driving, hit a parked car, and fled back to the house, according to Josh. A cop arrived shortly thereafter. The roommate then didn’t show up to his court date, resulting in a midnight raid of the house a few days later.
“The cops knocked on his door and he laid in bed refusing to leave. They had to forcibly remove him and take him to jail,” Josh said. The students also described their roommate as a zombie who received routine Xanax shipments. In one episode, they said he “accidentally cut his hand, and was too high to figure out how to fix it, so he smeared blood all over the wall.” Not the type of guy you want to have to clean up after.
Blood and Gore
Gina* graduated from UM, but still remembers the University District house she used to share with her dog, Buddy*, and five college guys. It involved a sink perpetually clogged with facial hair, a blow-up sex doll hanging from the ceiling, and weed left out for the dog to find. “They let Buddy lick the butter weed bowl,” said Gina. “Buddy accidentally got high two separate times.”
Buddy wasn’t the only one who Gina had to care for. She often played a motherly role to this rowdy group of roommates. “The worst was when I came home to a kitchen splattered in blood,” she said. One of her roommates was slicing bread and mistakenly sliced his hand so deep Gina thought he would need stitches. Instead, he glued his cut together with super glue. Good as new!
“[The blood] was everywhere — on the fridge, on the walls, on the ceiling,” Gina said. Gina was left to clean it up after the roommate claimed he had cleaned it the best he could. But she “didn’t feel like cleaning his blood off the ceiling,”she said, “So it remains there to this day.”
Vince*, a senior, once lived off campus with an animal slipper connoisseur. “He would rip off stuffed animal heads, buy generic slippers and glue the heads onto them, planning to start a business,” Vince said. He also sported his creations while out and about. “He would go to the Badlander with his animal slippers on, and come home with like ten people who were his ‘new friends,’” said Vince. “My friends never wanted to come over because my roommate would look at people and be like, I have the perfect animal slippers for you.”
A businessman and a social butterfly, Vince’s roommate believed he was destined for greatness. He prepared for this destiny by working out constantly, using uppers in his daily smoothies, going without sleep for days on end, and watching American Ninja Warrior on TV.
“He started getting all spiritual. He thought he was the next apostle sent down to save the world, or Jesus Christ or something. And I was like, no, you’re a drug addict,” said Vince.
So where is he now? “I think he’s still training for American Ninja Warrior,” Vince said.
We just hope he competes in his animal slippers.
Awkward, terrible roommate stories can be hilarious - after you move out. If you’re currently struggling with a bad living situation or lease problems, reach out to Curry or the ASUM Renter Center for counseling or information on renter’s rights.