Sup fuckers. Let’s be frank — college is stressful, and sometimes letting loose and drinking can be fun. But what to drink??? There are so many options and we know you need our help. There is no ​other way — but of course we obliged. What party drink are you? Let’s find out. 

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Welcome to the metaphorically wettest and literally the wildest college newspaper out there. We Griz are HUNGRY, but also horny <3. Our university is a liberal arts college after all, so obviously, we freaky as fuck, but also ~not fucking idiots.~ You can never be too educated y’all, and …

All-inclusive hello! It’s the first week of school here at good ol’ UM, and for many, it’s the first time walking the Oval as a student. Tons of great things are bound to happen, but let’s not forget the astrological roots that might lead us down some weird-ass paths here at college. Just re…

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Summer is knocking at the door, and so is Taurus szn. Many of you are about to leave school and become, like, real adults. With graduation looming, better believe that everyone over the age of 50 will be asking you, “wHaT aRe yOuR pLaNs aFtEr sChOol?” We have the answers to the absolute and …

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Bone apple teeth! Life is about exploring pasta-bilities, and we want to show you where your true passatelli lies. We just spa-GHETT you, okay? GEEZ, there are so many pasta puns, it’s a bit overwhelming! We will do our best to not overwhelm you too, but feel free to say “pasta-la-vista” to …

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Democrat or Republican, we all do stupid things. And that’s okay. We are humans, after all. However, the difference between politicians and us is that our mistakes don’t get watched by our entire nation to be scrutinized. It’s okay though. Their profession asks for it — and you bet your ass …

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What do all literary triumphs in the United States’ vaunted canon have in common? A theme. And before you skip ahead on this quiz (or actually read it), so too does this horoscope. We may share the same literary universe in the sense that the random guys in the background of Marvel films are…

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Have you ever thought to yourself, “Man, I kinda want to join a cult just to see if I could resist the brainwashing?” We strongly advise against that (though, not to say we haven’t thought the same things — I mean, just think about all the friendships you could forge). In our effort to steer…

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Editor’s Note: I do not have, and refuse to get, a TikTok. But the internet is a wonderful place where even those of us who have chosen to stay away from ye ol’ TokTiks can still know what you Gen Zers are up to. 

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