Listen, college is hard. Sometimes you fail. Sometimes you fail real bad. Sometimes the midterm essay doesn’t make it onto your planner and you get sloshed on the due date and wake up too hungover to write the damn thing. And sometimes you put it off for a whole week before remembering that,…

The leaves are falling and the football, volleyball and soccer seasons are all in mid-swing here at UM, which means athletes and fans are consulting the stars to see how their teams will fare. The sport your sign is given isn’t necessarily your favorite, but one you align with the most and s…

Someone hold Robert Pattinson’s hair back while he pukes because it’s time for a TWILIGHT HOROSCOPE!!! The fall vibes are too immaculate right now and we can’t help but think about a time when it was socially acceptable for Kristen Stewart to not be gay and a pre “Pitch Perfect” Anna Kendric…

To slut or not to slut? That is the question because IT’S SPOOKY SEASON! A time to dress to impress, to pretend, to have fun, but most of all to be a sexy bitch. !ATTENTION! to all the hoes out there: It’s time to get your slut on, or off — whatever your vibe is. But what will you be? Let’s …

Alright nerds, it’s time to talk about Dungeons and Dragons. STOP LYING! We know you have fantasized about slaying a dragon in the table-top roleplaying games world at least once. And if you haven’t, here’s a taste of the mad vibes you’re missing out on. Listen, sometimes being a magical lit…

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Roses are red, it’s the first week of October, which means it’s basically Halloween, so bend over! Yep, it’s time to participate in anything remotely related to the holiday — thus, MOVIES!!!! There are a few staples in every Halloween movie: the big-boobed bimbo, the jock who always dies, th…

AnOtHeR hOroScOpe aBoUt sEX? YES SIR! Welcome to the Kaimin Sutra, the place you go to get the HARD news ;) Having sex is fun, right? BUT! We want to give you some tools to get even more freaky with it, or at least tell you how you like to get laid — while also learning about your astrologic…

Hey team. Not to be dramatic, but the United States sucks and we need more holidays designed for eating food and drinking alcohol. NOT TO FEAR! The Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival is here! Now, on the down-low, the Chinese zodiac doesn’t ~perfectly~ line up with our typical zodiac, so we are mak…

Sup fuckers. Let’s be frank — college is stressful, and sometimes letting loose and drinking can be fun. But what to drink??? There are so many options and we know you need our help. There is no ​other way — but of course we obliged. What party drink are you? Let’s find out. 

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