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The fifth week of school means midterm season is well and truly upon us. What better way to cope than cracking open a cold one? Make some mixies with your close friends (or by yourself), open up that powerpoint and pretend to study while you watch 12 back-to-back episodes of New Girl.

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Who says we can’t have fun on Fridays during COVID? Everyone. The CDC. Us, a humble college paper horoscope. Every email from Seth Bodnar encouraging us to defend our den. Anyway, it’s time to get creative with our Friday nights.

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Everyone’s back on campus, and you know what that means: Tinder, baybee. Social distancing doesn’t need to stop you from matching with the rando who sits six feet away from you in anthropology and then never messaging them back. ‘Tis the season.

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Everyone’s back on campus, and you know what that means: Tinder, baybee. Social distancing doesn’t need to stop you from matching with the rando who sits six feet away from you in anthropology and then never messaging them back. ‘Tis the season.

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WwWhHHOoAaaHhhH oh BABY! We’re McFreakin’ BACK. We would high-five you, but honestly, we don’t know the last time you “defended your den” and washed those bad boys. Just, you know...imagine we were high-fiving rn.

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All we wanna do is *bang* *bang* *cash register noise* find the motivation to get up and put on real pants.

We are going to repeat it until we don’t have to anymore: Please stay home! Out of ideas for passing the time? We got you.ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19): God, normally we would be so snarky with y’all, but it for real super sucks that you’re stuck in quarantine during your season. We suppose you …

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Welp. Here we are. We’re out here (inside our own homes) practicing social distancing and hygiene. Even Co-star changed “work” to “routine” as soon as everything started shutting down. Wash your damn hands so we can get back to normal! Here’s your song to sing for 20 seconds while you hit the suds.

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