Did you get that dreaded “oof, you were a close-contact” notification, and now you’re going to be stuck in your tiny apartment, ALONE, for two weeks? Here are some fun new hobbies to occupy your mind — and your hands — while you protect yourself and those around you.


LIBRA (SEP. 23-OCT. 22)

We wanted to give you something that would make you feel smart AND would let you spread your social butterfly wings: A Zoom book club. Continue your “Twilight” renaissance, fire up Zoom and discuss whether or not Edward Cullen is redeemable. 


SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

We’re not sure why we picture you as an old man who lives off-the-grid, but we do. Take a break from telling people the government is listening to everyone’s thoughts to pick up an exciting hobby: whittling. You heard us right.


SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 22)

It’s time to start a Zoom rock band. Grab some pots and pans and start jamming like a toddler who doesn’t need naptime. Between the lag on Zoom and lack of musical talent, you probably won’t be great. But hey, at least you won’t have to worry about Brian smashing his guitar when he starts feeling a little too much like Pete Townsend. 


CAPRICORN (DEC. 23-JAN. 19)

We get it, you’re smart. But have you ever tried dumbing things down a little bit? Grab a “For Dummies” book and teach yourself a new skill. Try sticking with it until you nail it.


AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

You’ve got an absurd amount of energy, and sometimes the only way it can be channeled is by exercise. Pull out your computer, move your furniture and go absolutely H.A.M with some jazzercise.


PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

We’re pretty sure Pisces folks are the cinnamon rolls of the Zodiac, so we’re picking the softest hobby for you. Really lean into that whole grandma aesthetic you’ve got going on, and try your hand at knitting.


ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

For some reason, we feel like you have a vast knowledge of true crime facts. No one casually mentions the zodiac letters like you do. Instead of freaking your friends out with all that valuable knowledge, try a crime podcast or YouTube series.


TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

You became a plant parent at the beginning of the pandemic but now it’s time to become a plant grandparent. You heard us right, it’s time to propagate, baby. Look up some TikToks, take some clippings and get to work building up your plant family.


GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20):

We know you’re basically a bartender already, but imagine how much it would up your game if you started making your own booze! Take inspiration from that girl who made trashcan cider freshman year and just make it way better.


CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

We know how sentimental you’ve been the last few months. Thinking about the joy your childhood crafts used to give you won’t bring back that spirit, but a new crafting adventure might. Try your hand at making earrings! It’s the latest trend, we know, but that means there’s a lot to pull inspo from.


LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

Hey Leo, do you know how to rest? No? Oh, instead of resting we’re going to start a home renovation project? Cool cool cool. You like projects that have an obvious physical result, and there’s nothing more obvious than a new bathroom or a whole new apartment aesthetic.


VIRGO (AUG 23-SEP. 22)

 Let’s be honest, you’ve always wanted to be an influencer. But you don’t want to be an influencer in an obvious way, so the next best thing is to become a crafting pro, and “organically” grow your followers until you reach world domination. 


 Is it written in the stars? Or, rather, WAS it? Here are the last few horoscopes: