Virgo season burnout got you down? Same (although the pandemic could be playing a role in that, too, if we’re being honest). Anyway, good news! It’s Libra season now. Time to try to fall in love with the babe across the tent-classroom or spend a solid half-hour trying to decide whether or not you should just Zoom into class from your bed.
LIBRA (SEP. 23-OCT. 22)
Ok, so you’re known for weighing every single option, right? That’s why none of your friends ask you whether or not they should skip class. If they ask you, they know you’ll hit them with the follow-up, “Are you doing something important today?” They don’t want to hear that. They want to hear “yes.”
SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)
Yeah, cool, Libra season is chill and all, but right now you’re a little bit focused on something else. Crack open a cold one and start counting down. Your season is in T-minus 30 days.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 22)
Look at you, you little social butterflies! Coming out of your little cocoons just in time to... go to the one in-person class on your schedule? Or... fuck, we don’t know... sit in the UC when other people also sit there? Party.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 23-JAN. 19)
You’ve been trying to decide if the person who sits next to you (six feet to your left) in Urey is actually cute. You can’t exactly see them with the whole mask-and-social-distance situation, but you had big dreams of falling in love during Bio and this could be your shot.
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)
If you’re in need of a coping mechanism, might we suggest a hot bath and a list of places you’ll be visiting when (1) the pandemic is over and (2) you have actual, real, grownup money?
PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)
So, there are the people who still flirt over Snapchat and then there are the people who handwrite love letters, and somewhere in the middle is you: Communicating solely through emojis when someone asks you out.
ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)
Just circling back to check in on all the Aries who started a band like we’ve told you to do over and over. Hi, guys! Did you do it yet? How’s it going? Do you need a backup on the tambourine or anything?
TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)
Please, for the love of God, write out your grocery list! Please! It is not that hard! It’s only the tiniest bit harder to actually remember to bring it with you to the grocery store, but we believe in you!
GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20):
You daydream about graduation, and we love that about you. No matter how far away your end date is, it will be farther if you keep forgetting about your online classes.
CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)
It’s ok if not everyone likes you, we swear. The one exception to this rule is Starbucks baristas. It’s not ok if they don’t like you. Put on a mask in the drive-thru, and answer the little questions they have to ask while you wait for that PSL.
LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)
We can’t help but feel like you guys have messy kitchens right now. Let this serve as your reminder to PLEASE clean up the frozen pizza packaging from last weekend. Y’all. The garbage truly is right there.
VIRGO (AUG 23-SEP. 22)
Staying up late doing homework is not a personality trait, but you all sure seem to think it is. Take a melatonin supplement and go to sleep, dammit!
Is it written in the stars? Or, rather, WAS it? Here are the last few horoscopes: