As Scorpio season continues flying by in all its impassioned glory, the frantic intensity of our resident desert-dwelling sign continues to influence us all. And now that the election pandemonium has finally quieted, we may be left wondering where to direct this excess energy...


SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

Scorpio, sometimes being around you is like being around the most annoying golden retriever. But, like, an edgy golden retriever. Let’s divert some of this passion into your classes. You know, the ones you’re on the brink of choosing credit/no credit?


SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 22)

As you head into the back half of the week, reflect on that pile of laundry growing in the corner of your room. Really give it some space in your mind to breathe, percolate a little.


CAPRICORN (DEC. 23-JAN. 19)

Caps! We think it’s time to start a new puzzle. That really difficult one, too, that you’ve been waiting to tackle. I mean, what else are you going to do? Stress about the state of the country? Study for finals? HA.


AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

Okay Aquarians, how can we put this nicely? Self-reflection is a beautiful thing. Now that you have lots of time for it, maybe work through the realization that you are, in fact, capable of being wrong.


PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

Do you have a fun project you’ve been putting off? Scrapbooking? Redesigning your room? Scheduling a doctor’s appointment? Well, this is your sign!


ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

Now is the perfect time for you to pick up knitting. Don’t ask us why, Aries. We just have a feeling it’s right. 


TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

You guys have spent the last few weeks being independent #BossBabes, and we love that journey for you. But as Scorpio season winds down, we recommend utilizing some of its last dregs of passion on your relationships, romantic or platonic. 


GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20):

Now that there are literally only five days of class left, it might be a good time, Geminis, to figure out your plans for winter break. We get it’s fun to be spontaneous and quirky, but you know what’s even better? Financial responsibility.


CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

Call your damn grandma, Cancer. She misses you and you’ve been putting this off for far too long.


LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

Leos, you finally have time to make that “Day in My Life” YouTube video! Next stop, Emma Chamberlain-level fame. 


VIRGO (AUG 23-SEP. 22)

Checking in on our local mom-friend. Honey, as John F. Kennedy once said, “Ask not what you can do for others, ask what you can do for yourself?” Or something like that. Might we suggest meditation? Or hot yoga? 


LIBRA (SEP. 23-OCT. 22)

Plan a trip, in detail. Regardless of whether it can actually happen or not, this particular kind of escapism is just what you’re missing right now.

 Is it written in the stars? Or, rather, WAS it? Here are the last few horoscopes: