Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20): Plastic bag
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again? If you only knew what the future holds; after a hurricane comes a rainbow. Maybe the rea−
Aries (March 21 - April 19): Condom wrapper
Definitely better than a used condom. It does make you wonder, though, how does a condom wrapper get outside in the middle of winter? And that’s that on college life.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Gum wrapper lying right by a trash can
Of course. You couldn’t be bothered for the two seconds it takes to bend over and pick up your gum wrapper after you fail miserably at throwing it away. Mother Nature is not pleased, and neither are we.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Coffee cup
The only litter a VSCO girl could make. It’s all “save the turtles” and “reusable silverware” until it comes to vanilla iced lattes. All we’re saying is, if you’re going to bother going waste-free, be consistent.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22): A Flip Flop
Why? How? These are the questions that pop into the mind of the everyday Cancer, just like these are the questions that pop into our heads when we see a fucking flip flop on the Oval. It is WINTER. There is SNOW on the ground. It is 30 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s like y’all are TRYING to litter.
Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22): Cigarette butt
A classic. If anyone smokes, it’s gotta be Leo. It was for the aesthetic, wasn’t it? We hope that nicotine addiction is worth it. And hey, while we’re at it, did you know that cigarette butts are the number one type of litter collected every year? Seems like a Leo sort of thing tbh.
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): Apple core
This one is just kind of insulting. How are you so concerned about eating healthy, but not concerned about throwing your trash away? Newsflash, kiddo, just because it’s green doesn’t mean it's okay to just leave on the ground. SMH.
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22): Homework
This one means one of three stories. One, someone lost their homework on the way to class. Sad for them, but arguably a little funny. Two, someone lost their homework long after being graded and completed. Three, someone intentionally discarded their homework because they hated it. Talk about a Libra vibe.
Scorpio (Oct. 23- Nov. 21): Juul Pod
Just when we thought it couldn’t get any worse than cigarette butts and condom wrappers. We don’t have a lot more to say about this other than our normal stance on littering which is “really?” But nothing screams “yup, here we are — the future” like a littered JUUL pod. Truly the peak of human existence.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Montana Kaimin
This one kinda stings Sagittarius. On one hand, thanks for picking us up, but on the other hand, we feel like Mufasa being thrown from the cliff into the stampeding wildebeests. At least that means the background music for your betrayal slaps. But really, you know you can recycle this paper, right? We promise we won’t get mad.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): Pepsi can
We realize we might be bullying you by calling you a Pepsi can. But underneath we do kinda respect you. Like, you have to go out of your way to get Pepsi on this campus. That’s kinda rebellious, Capricorn. Look at you, thinkin’ you’re Katniss Everdeen. Overthrowing Panem, one Pepsi at a time.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18): Plastic Straws
What to say about the ultimate, big daddy of non-recyclable waste? Geminis may be VSCO girls (are we wrong?), but at least they have those reusable straws. We have a few choice turtle videos to show you that would make you never want to touch a plastic straw again, but we’ll let you off with a warning… this time.