Hot take: George Orwell’s “1984” should be a required text at preschools. For that matter, mothers should be reading it to their unborn children during pregnancy.

Perhaps it will inspire students to start a revolution, overthrow their teachers and have intense debates about whether or not their school should be turned into a student oligarchy.

Whatever the consequences, it would be better than their situation now. Once those young souls step onto the playground, they become trapped in a horrific dystopia constructed with chalk and jungle gyms. They let out robotic laughs, jumps and skips as their brainwashed minds manufacture a sense of joy and safety.

To the uneducated, it looks like they’re just playing games. But the truth is, those games were created by the government to turn students into obedient puppets.

Take hopscotch and jump rope, for example. A bourgeoisie phony would tell you that these games enhance coordination and concentration. In reality, they’re a deceptive form of hypnosis meant to turn children’s attention away from the evils of capitalism. Why worry about the exploitation of the working class when you’re too busy trying to step on the right square or beat Katie’s double Dutch record?

NSFK Hopscotch


And that’s just the beginning. The powers that be have also been training children for the U.S. military. The bootcamp begins by subjugating young ones to torturous physical tasks. They are forced to pump their legs on swings, grip onto monkey bars and rub their skin against scorching metal slides until they can’t take it anymore.

It all culminates into a shockingly violent game called Red Rover. Students are told to charge through an enemy fleet, screaming a triumphant battle cry as they force their opponents into submission. If they fail, they risk imprisonment by the opposing team. Apparently, the folks at the White House have never heard of subtlety.

Fear tactics are present in most if not all playground games. The message of Hide and Seek is clear: If you have gripes with the government, you’d better hide. Otherwise, you’ll be hunted down and greeted with a fate worse than death. Better to just have no dissenting beliefs, right?

But if that game teaches players to hide, Tag teaches them to run. They’re told that all threats to the United States, legitimate or not, should flee as fast as they can. Otherwise, they’re “I.T.,” a carefully crafted acronym that stands for Immediately Tortured.

The evils of the playground are so strong that teachers need a way to break their students from the government’s hypnotic powers. After about 30 minutes, they must ring a deafening bell, one so loud and blood-curdling that it snaps the children back into consciousness, so they can go inside.

Is this the world you want your child or sibling to grow up in? The time has come to educate the youth on the horrors of tyranny and inspire them to create real change in the school system. Give me liberty, or give me Duck, Duck, Goose!

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