Caught in the Act: The anti-sex column

by Kaelyn Kelly | February 5, 2010 | Montana Kaimin

Editor’s note: Kaelyn Kelly and Willi Brooks take turns writing this column, which is published on Fridays. This is Kaelyn’s week to write.

I know a lot of virgins. I know boy virgins and girl virgins, college-age virgins and older virgins. I know virgins who don’t believe in God and I know virgins who have remained virgins because they believe in God.

But according to the 2008 National College Health Assessment results, University of Montana students think everyone and their mother (it’s called hyperbole, people) is having sex at college.

The survey is sent out every other year and more than 2,000 UM students responded last time. It asks about topics ranging from alcohol and drug use to mental health issues. As can be expected, many of the sex-related questions have to do with condom use and STD prevention. Students are also asked how many sexual partners they’ve had in the last year. Then they are asked how many partners they think the typical UM student has had in the last year.

I was shocked at the dichotomy between what students thought their peers were doing and what they were actually doing. Students perceived that only 1 percent of UM students had not been sexually active in the past year, but actually 20 percent had not had a partner in that time. The number is even higher in the dorms, with 34 percent of residents reporting they hadn’t had sex for a year. I realize that doesn’t make all those people virgins, but that still means 1 out of every 5 UM students was not having sex.

People choose not to have sex for different reasons. Some wait until they’re married to take that step in a relationship. Some people have no qualms about premarital sex, but just haven’t found the right partner yet. There are other people who only have sex when they are in an exclusive relationship with a committed partner. For others, it might be less of a choice and more of a dry spell. But no matter the reason, statistics say they are not alone.

It’s not wrong or weird if you’re not having sex. In a lot of ways, it’s actually a good thing. You don’t have to worry about STDs or unwanted pregnancies and you don’t have to pay for birth control. But I realize there can be a lot of pressure to have sex in college. That’s probably why students think everyone is doing it. I respect the decision not to have sex for whatever reason you choose. And if it’s just a dry spell, don’t worry — I’m sure it will be over soon.

As a side note, a troubling find from the survey is that only 66 percent of single students reported “mostly or always” using a condom during vaginal intercourse. Even fewer respondents frequently use condoms during oral or anal sex. So if you are having sex, please make sure it’s safe sex. If your partner doesn’t want to use a condom, it probably means he or she hasn’t used condoms with past partners. And that’s a risk for you.

The health assessment survey will be coming out again this year, so keep checking your e-mail. If you want to see the full results of the 2008 survey, you can find the link on the Curry Health Center Web site at life.umt.edu/curry.

Kaelyn Kelly is a junior studying broadcast journalism.

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