Semester in review

Wasn’t it just yesterday that we were all skipping the first day of class to avoid playing the name game and backpacks full of syllabi? Time flies. For me, it seems like just a few months ago I was living on the third floor of the Aberhood. Now I’m filling out graduation papers. So it goes.

This special pull-out section, in our last paper of the semester, is an example of the Kaimin Staff’s endless attempt to chronicle the life of you, our fellow student. Thank you for being our subject and thank you for being so interesting. 

The Best of the Blotter

May 25, 6 p.m.

A woman reported that she had been in the women’s locker room at the Student Recreation Center, and had seen some feet below the shower curtain, but no water was running.
The woman asked if the person was okay, and the person said “she” was, Lemcke said.
The voice, however, did not sound legitimately female, and the woman called Public Safety. Responding officers found a male student in the women’s locker room, Lemcke said. He was clothed except for his shoes, and told officers he had walked into the wrong locker room by mistake and was hiding in the shower until he could get out unseen, Lemcke said. Unconvinced, officers cited him for disorderly conduct.

July 12, 4 a.m.

Officers responded to a disturbance in the parking area at Lewis and Clark Villages, Lemcke said. The disturbance was a fight between two women, both of whom were naked, Lemcke said.
“Officers happily intervened,” Lemcke said.
Apparently, the women had been involved in an intimate situation indoors, when a misunderstanding led to an argument, which escalated into an outdoor fight, he said. One of the women was taken to the hospital for treatment of a bite wound on her finger, he said.

Oct. 1, 7:53 p.m.

Public Safety received a report of a man stumbling around the Lewis and Clark Villages. The caller also said there was a pool of blood on the sidewalk. Responding officers did not immediately find the stumbling man, but they did find blood and hair on the brick corner of one building, Lemcke said.
Shortly thereafter, officers found the man in a random apartment, where he had walked in to clean his wounds – which had apparently been sustained when he fell against the building – and gone to sleep, Lemcke said.
“Alcohol was definitely involved,” he said.
The man was taken to the hospital and cited for trespass to property.

Oct. 5

University of Montana maintenance staff removed four pairs of women’s underwear that were clogging the toilet near the trail to the “M” following the Rolling Stones concert, said Lemcke.
“I don’t know what was going on in there,” Lemcke said. “Maybe it’s just very powerful suction in the toilet.”
Another theory is that someone intended to throw the panties onstage, but couldn’t get a ticket, and instead abandoned them in the outhouse.
“If Babe wants her panties back, they’re a little damaged, but here they are,” Lemcke said.
In fact, Babe’s panties were turned over to the Kaimin. Please call the newsroom at 243-4310 to claim.

Oct. 15, 2:01 a.m.

A Public Safety officer patrolling Arthur Avenue spotted two men pushing a third man on an office chair, Taylor said.
The man in the chair was unconscious, with his head sagging and arms hanging limply at his side, according to the police report.
“He had vomited on himself and was drooling,” the report said.
The two men were trying to get the unconscious man, who was drunk, to his home, Taylor said. 
The intoxicated man was taken to St. Patrick Hospital for treatment, and charged with underage possession of alcohol. 

Oct. 28, 3:10 p.m.

A student appeared to be intoxicated and underage in the tailgate area outside the Grizzly football game. The student agreed to take a breathalyzer test to see if there was alcohol in his system, and the test came up positive, Lemcke said. The student objected, on the grounds that he hadn’t been drinking that day. Rather, alcohol was still in his system from a night spent drinking “fine cognac,” he told police.
The student was cited for underage drinking.

Oct. 29, 11:06 p.m.

Officers responded to a report of possible marijuana use in Aber Hall.
Several people were smoking pot in a dorm room when officers arrived, Lemcke said. One of the students grabbed a baggy containing marijuana, stuffed it into his mouth and swallowed the whole thing. Officers took the student to St. Patrick Hospital. Medical staff determined the student’s health wasn’t jeopardized, and officers took him to jail.
“Thank God he didn’t have a bong,” said Lt. Gary Taylor with the Office of Public Safety.

Nov. 5, 6:03 a.m.

A caller reported an intoxicated male who had just urinated in the hallway on the fourth floor of Jesse Hall.
The man had passed out on the floor by the time police arrived, said Lemcke.
Officers found that the student had some marijuana in his possession, Lemcke said. He was cited for disorderly conduct, underage possession of alcohol and possession of drug paraphernalia – a feat Lemcke refers to as “The Dorm Trifecta.”

Nov. 8 – 14

The Office of Public Safety received several reports of a man hunting squirrels on campus with a dart gun.
Campus squirrels are an easy but illegal target, Lemcke said.
“All you need is that sack of stolen nuts,” Taylor said.

Nov. 14, 11:58 p.m.

Someone was throwing potatoes at passing cars from the study lounge on the fourth floor of Jesse Hall. Officers were unable to locate the suspect.
The potatoes were baked and garnished with sour cream, Lemcke said.
“There was no mention of chives in the report,” he said.