October 11, 2007
Bury liberals bum-side up
My idea for combating the global catastrophe that is global warming is quite simple. As many people who have researched the problem know, the number-one producers of greenhouse gases are animals. Animal flatulence’s contribution to global warming is going to lead to the destruction of millions of people through famine, flood, and other natural disasters.
What I propose first is a gathering of all the global warming “experts,”¬ liberals and statists in multiple places throughout the world. Second, they should all dig holes roughly three feet wide, seven feet long and about three feet deep. Thirdly, they should invite all the conservative and other global warming non-believers to the gathering also. Then all the liberals and statists should kill themselves, and be buried in their shallow graves. After their deaths, the conservatives and global warming non-believers will bury the liberals with their bums up. By burying all liberals in this fashion, the methane from their rotting corpses can be used as fuel. The effects of our new methane fuel production will then end America’s dependency upon foreign oil, and be a significant step towards the War on Global Warming.
I know that if we, as the concerned academic elite, act quickly, can change the future that our leaders are unprepared to do.
Jed Cox
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