Big Ups and Backhands

Welcome to Big Ups and Backhands, where summer comes sooner for us than it does for the rest of the University of Montana.

That’s right, the Montana Kaimin is officially finished publishing for the semester, and we’re sailing into the sunset. Feel free to stay in touch with us over the summer. You might consider using the new Facebook Chat, a creepy addition to an already creepy Web site. In fact, we’re going to go ahead and give Backhands to Facebook Chat. If people want to chat with you, they’ve probably already added you on Google Chat or Skype. Or maybe they could call you. Human interaction is cool.

This week President George Dennison held a meeting with Students for Economic and Social Justice. Well, meeting may not be accurate since we’re not sure he stuck around long enough to learn anybody’s name. Regardless, Big Ups to face-to-face communication.

Backhands have to go out to a Brazilian priest who, after attaching himself to hundreds of helium-filled balloons, drifted above the Atlantic Ocean where he is believed to have crashed and likely perished. This just seems like a bad idea from the get-go. “I hear there are easier ways to get high,” UM director of Public Safety Jim Lemcke didn’t say. But wouldn’t it have been effin’ hilarious if he had? 

Big Ups to ASUM elections for wrapping up. When summer actually gets here, the sun will be able to shine through the windows of the UC without being obstructed by posters of people you can’t vote for anyway.

While complimenting the competition isn’t really a favorite pastime of BU&Bh, Big Ups to the Missoula Independent for slapping a picture of a naked person on its cover this week. That’s one area where the Kaimin failed its readers this year: not enough nudity.

We need a formulaic entry to accommodate the antics of the constantly-in-trouble Chicago Bulls mascot. It would go something like this: “Backhands to Chicago Bulls’ mascot Benny the Bull, whose real-life alter-ego is former Griz mascot Barry Anderson. The artist formerly known as Monte has been sued by _________ for _________.” This week the “fill in the blanks” would be “an oral surgeon” and “hyperextending the doc’s arm while giving him a high five.”

An 18-year-old Missoula man who hijacked a Papa John’s delivery guy and punched him in the face was charged with felony robbery Wednesday as a result of the early Tuesday morning assault. Backhands to Papa John’s pizza. It’s too greasy.

In light of Team Kaimin’s humiliating, 3-inning 16-3 loss Wednesday in intramural softball, Big Ups to the conclusion of softball season. The finale was disappointing and hit its low point when the team’s coach––BU&Bh––dropkicked his glove over a tree. We’ll see you next season.

We know you’ll miss us in the lead up to finals, but maybe you’ll actually learn something in the final week, without the crossword to distract you.