Big Ups & Backhands

Pardon me — “gulp…whooooosh!” — BU&BH is drowning their sorrows. After watching clips of Tina Fey’s impression of Sarah Palin online for the last few weeks, we finally sat down and watched a real interview with Palin. As it turns out, that’s exactly what she sounds like: “Gulp.”

Big Ups to Paul Newman — not for dying, but for being the only actor to make a symbolic connection between passing out from an egg-eating contest and Jesus Christ (watch Cool Hand Luke if you don’t get it).

Backhands to the jam band Phish for getting back together. This reminds BU&BH of a joke they once heard. How many hippies does it take to change a light bulb? None, because hippies will never change anything.

Backhands to the United States government (that felt good to type) for failing to come to an agreement on a bailout plan for Wall Street the first time around. These brave men and women need that money for Starbucks double shots, lest they all throw themselves into Lower Manhattan traffic.

Backhands to the engineer of the commuter train who crashed into a freight train in L.A. last month because he was sending text messages from his cell phone. Text messaging should be reserved for those not engaged in dangerous activities, like those walking across the street, rollerblading on the highway, or driving with their knees while entering a major city.

This may be starting to become a pattern, but seriously, Backhands to Sarah Palin, who could not name a single newspaper that she reads when interviewed by Katie Couric. This is just what we need in the White House: more people who don’t know how the hell the world works. She could have just said the Kaimin in her interview, but we’re not sure that would help us at all.

Finally, Big Ups to the gorillas and werewolves wandering around campus. We know that Halloween isn’t for another month, but who cares? BU&BH is going to put on the sluttiest nurse outfit you’ve ever seen next week.

Take it easy, and we hope you enjoyed the vice-presidential debate last night. BU&BH will probably have moved on to illegal drugs by then to cope with the pain.