Transgender community remembers, celebrates

The transgender community that, as recently as two years ago, was invisible in Montana now has a network of support.

On Wednesday, The University of Montana hosted the second annual Transgender Day of Recognition, put on by nonprofit Montana TDOR and sponsored in part by the UM women's and gender studies department, the Lambda Alliance, and the Women's Resource Center. Events included an art showing in the University Center, a Gender Alliance meet and greet, and a candlelight vigil on the Oval.

"What we're doing today, five years ago I didn't even know existed," said Bobbi Zenker, the first and only openly transgender lawyer in Montana. Zenker was one of six panelists at a Day of Recognition discussion on trans issues.

Trans woman Erin Armstrong came from San Francisco to speak on the panel. She talked about growing up in a Mormon family in Provo, Utah, and said she wanted to be a girl since she was about four years old. When Armstrong was a teenager, she told her mother she was trans. "Mom suggested I move," she said. Armstrong decided to leave Utah for New York City.

Feeling lonely in New York, Armstrong made a video about being trans and posted it on Youtube. She figured it would get about five hits.

"Five years later, that video has almost half a million views," she said. Since then, she's documented her transition, marriage to her wife and moving to San Francisco. "It's such a privilege to let other people know they're not alone," she said.

One of those YouTube viewers was a lonely, depressed person in Montana. Trans woman Bree Sutherland is now director of Montana TDOR, but a few years ago she, was living as a gay man, feeling something was wrong. "I found Erin's videos, and she was the one to put a name to what I felt," Sutherland said. Sutherland moved to Missoula and found a "humongous" trans community soon after.

All the trans panelists described feelings of depression and alienation before they transitioned. Trans man Acton Seibel, who is now editor of the LGBTQQI publication Out Words, said he remembers being a very young girl watching "Sixteen Candles." "I wanted to take Molly Ringwald to prom and have Jake Ryan's abs," he said. "I locked those things away to never see the light of day."

The panelists came to accept themselves in different ways. Zenker said she came to peace with her identity by praying and going to church. She said while attending a Catholic mass, she had a vision of Jesus. "And Jesus says to me, would you like to dance?" she said. Zenker had her surgical transition a few weeks later.

Some of the discussion centered on the acronym LGBTQQI, which stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning and intersex. One audience member, Tawnie Riekena, stood up and said she thinks the trans community hasn't been well served by the gay and lesbian community and should be separate. "People are lumping in gender identity with the LGB community, which is about sexual preference," she said.

"Historically, trans people have always been part of the gay community," said Seibel. "I don't believe we should be separated."

Panelist David Herrera, a two-spirit man who is co-director of the Western Montana Gay and Lesbian Center, agreed.

"The same people against civil rights for LGB people are against civil rights for trans people," he said.

Audience member Ninia Baehr, a member of the board of directors at the ACLU, said she was impressed with the local resources like the Missoula Gender Alliance. "I'm really sad that we don't have that at MSU and hopeful that we could."

kate.whittle@umontana.eduK