Poor, drunk and hungry

So this was going to be a sex column, but I sadly realized I don't have sex often enough to count as an expert. I do, however, eat food at least three times a day. So I proudly present this cooking column.

Do you flip through a lot of cookbooks and get frustrated because you do not possess the time, ingredients or equipment these recipes require?

I fantasize about having enormous counters and a fridge stocked with prosciutto, but  the truth is I'm working with a kitchen too small for two people to stand in, cooking on an ancient stove and using random pots and pans my mom gave me. I have to feed myself with about thirty bucks a week, and half of that is my drinking money. (Hey, beer is food, too.) So this isn't gonna be your grandma Paula D's kind of cooking column.

I spent the summer as an unpaid intern in Los Angeles, where they charge you a 15 percent tax for breathing. Broke as hell, I needed something cheap I could live on for months. This bastard version of egg drop soup is what I made at the office every single day for lunch. It's about as easy as Ramen, but a lot more nutritious.

Unpaid Intern Soup

Buckwheat soba noodles (because noodles are delicious, and soba is whole wheat)

Collard/Mustard Greens (adds color and vitamins to prevent Intern Scurvy)

Chicken boullion/broth (so it tastes like soup)

Eggs (cheap, tasty source of protein)

Soy sauce/Vinegar (because these were the condiments I found in the cabinet)

Heat up a few cups of water (in a pot, duh) and add your noodles and greens (they'll get tender at about the same time).

Let the pot simmer and add the chicken boullion and a splash of soy sauce and vinegar. Stir frequently and taste often. When the noodles and greens are cooked to your preference, crack in a couple eggs and stir to break the yolks. The eggs should take a couple minutes to cook properly. Turn off the heat, pour soup in a mug, and sit down with the other interns and gossip about Lindsay Lohan. SoCal interns only: go home, play Bad Religion's "Los Angeles is Burning" on repeat, drink Two Buck Chuck heavily.

kate.whittle@umontana.edu